Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Single Girl Resolve

I finished Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project today.  While not my favorite, I got some great pointers on ways to improve my attitude about life without feeling the need to travel to foreign countries, spend time in really quiet monasteries, eat bugs, start going to bars every night, or any other type of "liberating" activity.  The key phrase that stuck out to me was "re-framing," which simply means, get a new perspective.  There is one, find it.  If I don't shift my perspective to make things look less glum, I'm just being lazy.

Following her resolve to "be a better Gretchen," I think I need to start a list of resolutions to "be a single Amanda."  Because really, I haven't been single since... freshman year of college?  And that hardly counts, because there was a Dave, a very serious Dave, who entered the picture that spring.

So I've started my list, and here's what I have so far:


1) Be Amanda.  Not who I want Amanda to be or wish Amanda was.  That means admitting to the world how much I like Fall Out Boy, among other things to be revealed later.

2) Say buggar off to people who are mean in any way.  RIGHT AWAY.  First temper tantrum = gone.

3) Meet new people.  lots of new people.  swallow being shy

4) Go to a concert, a restaurant, or something similar at least once a month... BY MYSELF.  Try to make a new friend.  (the friend part can maybe be a goal for later - let's work on solo public appearances first)

5) Buy whatever I want at the grocery store on the condition that I only order salads, snacks and drinks at restaurants.  It's healthier and cheaper to eat from the store, no matter what.

6) Girl friends (and ok, guy friends too) first.  dates second.  but seriously, who needs dates?  I've been on "dates" regularly for like, five years, six?  Isn't it time for a new song and dance?  Maybe set to Fall Out Boy...

7) Bite my tongue before I react too quickly.  maybe count to ten?  or is that for people with high blood pressure... 

8) buy girly sheets.  they're mine.  no more appeasing boyfriends who double as roommates with boring, blue bedding.

Any other ideas for what I should add?

Now I'd say I'm also resolved to go read some literature of greater significance in the literary canon, but I don't really feel like it, and part of "being Amanda, just as she is," means not forcing myself to do things just because I want to feel smarter, whatever.  Although, I do have the biography of D.H. Lawrence by Anais Nin on my nightstand.  Does that count?  Those two are coming to my fantasy "any ten people living or dead" dinner party.

While I'm not bitter about my recent breakup... or, I'm as un-bitter as a person can be, I want to re-post this video for anyone who has ever gone through a breakup - hard or not.  Have I mentioned before how much I LOVE Ludo?  I finally listened to the Broken Bride EP all the way through, I cried.  Off point.  Moving on:

a few choice lyrics:

"Girl, I remember when we was sittin' on your couch
Watchin' Good Will Hunting, holdin' hands and drinkin' milkshakes
But milkshakes melt, people change, and you dumped me on my birthday...

...But I realized you were right, we were never meant to be
And you know what? Thank God
'Cause you're the most vapid, whiny blah I've ever met...

...Listen you tanning-bed-baked, broke, goat-faced, oompa-loompa monkey problem
I am proud to shop at Target, I'll wear warm-up pants any day of the week...

...You can watch Good Will Hunting by yourself - I hope your eyes fall out
Why don't you go watch it by yourself?

Go to hell!"


elizs said...

Srsly, can I borrow "The Happiness Project"? My copy is due back at the library on Friday and I'm only on ch. 2. =)

Michelle said...

#2 is my favorite!

pinksundrops said...

I smiled throughout that entire video, but I can totally see how you would cry your way through after a breakup in a sort of relieved way!! Go you with your resolutions - those are awesome :) !!

Grant said...

I say you should read Siddhartha. It always helps me be me.

Diya said...

good for you! I've just gotten around to reading this post. I hope your moving went well!

I love your list of being single... especially the girly sheets one! I also suggest just going on dates for the sake of dates rather than trying to find anyone... and just not worry about do you have spinach between your teeth or crumbs on your face for once during a date. I tried that for a couple months and that was amazing... I basically decided that there weren't going to be second dates no matter what so I just was completely comfortable and enjoying the other person's company and conversation the entire time.


Austin Eavesdropper said...

Amanda! I love this list. :)

I second #2 also. Mean people can take their meanness elsewhere.

And, to follow Grant's suggestion, the Tao Te Ching, and the Hua Hu Ching, are always very calming to me whenever I'm going through a major life change. I read a little passage out of the Hua Hu Ching every morning, and it starts the day on a good note.

Go forth and be amazing Amanda, the talented writer and musician, owner of girly sheets, traveler and adventurer, and designer of a way pretty (and smart) blog. Huzzah!

Eliz said...

Number six. Yes.

Natalie said...

love the list! very cute!

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