Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Monday, July 19, 2010
A Public Service Announcement
I went tubing weekend before last on the Guadalupe river. One house had this long rope swing with a platform to jump off from and swing into the water. This guy pulled it off successfully, and then this poor girl got up to try with everyone cheering her on. Her hands slipped or something and she fell with a full face plant onto the ground and then sort of skidded into the water. Everyone was STUNNED. She was ok. I doubt her pride was, though.
So, moral of the story - don't drink and rope swing, kids.
Labels:
advice
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Through the Thorns to the Stars
A facebook friend posted this, and out of incessant curiosity I started watching it. Then I started laughing, then I started crying, then I laughed some more while simultaneously crying. Carla Zilber-Smith was a writer/singer/actress/blogger I'd never heard of till now, and now I'm ticked about that. I hope her family puts together a book from her writings.
"Live the s*** out of your life" - Mac, her 16 year old son writing out an abridged version of her guiding principle in life for her final blog post and eulogy.
Now I want to go out and work on worrying less and having more fun per the suggestions in the eulogy. And I think Carla would tell me to start making googely eyes at whoever I want; being embarrassed is lame!
It also makes me think about what I would miss most, and what I would regret not doing. I feel good right now, though, like I'm actively pursuing everything I want to be doing. I'm writing - a lot - even working on my poetry book that I'm putting together and editing, making plans and trusting I'll have fun, even if the plans are by myself, getting up early for runs, reading on my balcony, cooking healthy hippie food, and getting ready to start my job at the Ann Richards School for Girls - which I am BEYOND ecstatic about. As long as I tell the voice in my head that worries about the growing old alone thing to shut up and shove it, I feel very, very good about where I am and where I'm going. That's nice, (now if only the flowers I planted would sprout).
Labels:
advice,
inspiration
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Single Girl Resolve
I finished Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project today. While not my favorite, I got some great pointers on ways to improve my attitude about life without feeling the need to travel to foreign countries, spend time in really quiet monasteries, eat bugs, start going to bars every night, or any other type of "liberating" activity. The key phrase that stuck out to me was "re-framing," which simply means, get a new perspective. There is one, find it. If I don't shift my perspective to make things look less glum, I'm just being lazy.
Following her resolve to "be a better Gretchen," I think I need to start a list of resolutions to "be a single Amanda." Because really, I haven't been single since... freshman year of college? And that hardly counts, because there was a Dave, a very serious Dave, who entered the picture that spring.
So I've started my list, and here's what I have so far:
1) Be Amanda. Not who I want Amanda to be or wish Amanda was. That means admitting to the world how much I like Fall Out Boy, among other things to be revealed later.
2) Say buggar off to people who are mean in any way. RIGHT AWAY. First temper tantrum = gone.
3) Meet new people. lots of new people. swallow being shy
4) Go to a concert, a restaurant, or something similar at least once a month... BY MYSELF. Try to make a new friend. (the friend part can maybe be a goal for later - let's work on solo public appearances first)
5) Buy whatever I want at the grocery store on the condition that I only order salads, snacks and drinks at restaurants. It's healthier and cheaper to eat from the store, no matter what.
6) Girl friends (and ok, guy friends too) first. dates second. but seriously, who needs dates? I've been on "dates" regularly for like, five years, six? Isn't it time for a new song and dance? Maybe set to Fall Out Boy...
7) Bite my tongue before I react too quickly. maybe count to ten? or is that for people with high blood pressure...
8) buy girly sheets. they're mine. no more appeasing boyfriends who double as roommates with boring, blue bedding.
Any other ideas for what I should add?
Now I'd say I'm also resolved to go read some literature of greater significance in the literary canon, but I don't really feel like it, and part of "being Amanda, just as she is," means not forcing myself to do things just because I want to feel smarter, whatever. Although, I do have the biography of D.H. Lawrence by Anais Nin on my nightstand. Does that count? Those two are coming to my fantasy "any ten people living or dead" dinner party.
While I'm not bitter about my recent breakup... or, I'm as un-bitter as a person can be, I want to re-post this video for anyone who has ever gone through a breakup - hard or not. Have I mentioned before how much I LOVE Ludo? I finally listened to the Broken Bride EP all the way through, I cried. Off point. Moving on:
a few choice lyrics:
...You can watch Good Will Hunting by yourself - I hope your eyes fall out
Why don't you go watch it by yourself?
Go to hell!"
Following her resolve to "be a better Gretchen," I think I need to start a list of resolutions to "be a single Amanda." Because really, I haven't been single since... freshman year of college? And that hardly counts, because there was a Dave, a very serious Dave, who entered the picture that spring.
So I've started my list, and here's what I have so far:
SINGLE AMANDA RESOLUTIONS
1) Be Amanda. Not who I want Amanda to be or wish Amanda was. That means admitting to the world how much I like Fall Out Boy, among other things to be revealed later.
2) Say buggar off to people who are mean in any way. RIGHT AWAY. First temper tantrum = gone.
3) Meet new people. lots of new people. swallow being shy
4) Go to a concert, a restaurant, or something similar at least once a month... BY MYSELF. Try to make a new friend. (the friend part can maybe be a goal for later - let's work on solo public appearances first)
5) Buy whatever I want at the grocery store on the condition that I only order salads, snacks and drinks at restaurants. It's healthier and cheaper to eat from the store, no matter what.
6) Girl friends (and ok, guy friends too) first. dates second. but seriously, who needs dates? I've been on "dates" regularly for like, five years, six? Isn't it time for a new song and dance? Maybe set to Fall Out Boy...
7) Bite my tongue before I react too quickly. maybe count to ten? or is that for people with high blood pressure...
8) buy girly sheets. they're mine. no more appeasing boyfriends who double as roommates with boring, blue bedding.
Any other ideas for what I should add?
Now I'd say I'm also resolved to go read some literature of greater significance in the literary canon, but I don't really feel like it, and part of "being Amanda, just as she is," means not forcing myself to do things just because I want to feel smarter, whatever. Although, I do have the biography of D.H. Lawrence by Anais Nin on my nightstand. Does that count? Those two are coming to my fantasy "any ten people living or dead" dinner party.
While I'm not bitter about my recent breakup... or, I'm as un-bitter as a person can be, I want to re-post this video for anyone who has ever gone through a breakup - hard or not. Have I mentioned before how much I LOVE Ludo? I finally listened to the Broken Bride EP all the way through, I cried. Off point. Moving on:
a few choice lyrics:
"Girl, I remember when we was sittin' on your couch
Watchin' Good Will Hunting, holdin' hands and drinkin' milkshakes
But milkshakes melt, people change, and you dumped me on my birthday...
Watchin' Good Will Hunting, holdin' hands and drinkin' milkshakes
But milkshakes melt, people change, and you dumped me on my birthday...
...But I realized you were right, we were never meant to be
And you know what? Thank God
'Cause you're the most vapid, whiny blah I've ever met...
And you know what? Thank God
'Cause you're the most vapid, whiny blah I've ever met...
...Listen you tanning-bed-baked, broke, goat-faced, oompa-loompa monkey problem
I am proud to shop at Target, I'll wear warm-up pants any day of the week...
I am proud to shop at Target, I'll wear warm-up pants any day of the week...
Why don't you go watch it by yourself?
Go to hell!"
Labels:
advice,
relationships,
singledom
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Zero-Sum
Prior to last week I had never heard the term "zero-sum" before, and now I've heard it three times. The universe wants me to make a post about zero sum.
I've been reading The Happiness Project, and the author talks about zero-sum in terms of feeling happy for other people's successes. I realize that I've had this attitude, and it's pretty sick: the idea that because someone else succeeds, I can't, as there's only so much success to go around. I feel like this hinders me from continuing projects, (sometimes), and keeps me from feeling joy about other people's good luck/fortune/work/etc, (sometimes). (I also realized - a while ago - that I don't believe in absolutes - mostly).
Speaking of other people's success, Lennon, Eirik, and our friend Ruckus are going on a slam poetry tour this summer. I'm 70% jealous and 30% certain that I hate Greyhound buses and sitting next to strangers with any potential for drooling.
This is the two of them doing a jig to impress people on South Congress. It actually worked.
I tried to help but got bored holding the sign after five... oh something shiny.
So clearly my back-up plan for work should be risque modeling, as in this photo. Nice khaki's and polo, oddly reminiscent of my Bennigan's uniform... oh wait, it was. And I'm wearing it again by choice. Somedays I just don't try... and hope there's no camera around.
I do write poetry, and since it's national poetry month, what better time to advertise my poetry blog? It can be found here. I forget to update it, as I haven't been taking the time to write poetry like I should. This is one of the reasons I can't go on tour. That, and stage fright. And my day job. I'm too practical for my own good, (sometimes).
So I'm going to start putting zero-sum to rest: my success in anything is not dependent on the failure of others. Life doesn't have a first place prize, and Greyhound just doesn't have enough leg room to merit traveling the country... or so I'll tell myself.
And here's one more life lesson for the proverbial road: if your ex-boyfriend who you still live with for seven more days is making you mad, go find a slug on the recycling bin, put it on his keyboard when he gets up from World of Warcraft to go to the bathroom, then watch him scream like a child and suddenly become nice as he asks you to get rid of it. Works like a charm.
I've been reading The Happiness Project, and the author talks about zero-sum in terms of feeling happy for other people's successes. I realize that I've had this attitude, and it's pretty sick: the idea that because someone else succeeds, I can't, as there's only so much success to go around. I feel like this hinders me from continuing projects, (sometimes), and keeps me from feeling joy about other people's good luck/fortune/work/etc, (sometimes). (I also realized - a while ago - that I don't believe in absolutes - mostly).
Speaking of other people's success, Lennon, Eirik, and our friend Ruckus are going on a slam poetry tour this summer. I'm 70% jealous and 30% certain that I hate Greyhound buses and sitting next to strangers with any potential for drooling.
This is the two of them doing a jig to impress people on South Congress. It actually worked.
I tried to help but got bored holding the sign after five... oh something shiny.
So clearly my back-up plan for work should be risque modeling, as in this photo. Nice khaki's and polo, oddly reminiscent of my Bennigan's uniform... oh wait, it was. And I'm wearing it again by choice. Somedays I just don't try... and hope there's no camera around.
I do write poetry, and since it's national poetry month, what better time to advertise my poetry blog? It can be found here. I forget to update it, as I haven't been taking the time to write poetry like I should. This is one of the reasons I can't go on tour. That, and stage fright. And my day job. I'm too practical for my own good, (sometimes).
So I'm going to start putting zero-sum to rest: my success in anything is not dependent on the failure of others. Life doesn't have a first place prize, and Greyhound just doesn't have enough leg room to merit traveling the country... or so I'll tell myself.
And here's one more life lesson for the proverbial road: if your ex-boyfriend who you still live with for seven more days is making you mad, go find a slug on the recycling bin, put it on his keyboard when he gets up from World of Warcraft to go to the bathroom, then watch him scream like a child and suddenly become nice as he asks you to get rid of it. Works like a charm.
Labels:
advice,
life in general,
slam poetry
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentines Weekend & Relationship Troubles
Lennon and I drove to Dallas today to visit his parents, make good on his long-standing promise to take me to the aquarium, eat at the Spaghetti Warehouse in the West End, and let me do a little indulgent vintage shopping. I have been missing my computer time with all of the busy-ness as of late - cleaning, mountains of laundry, work, meeting lots of people with the fabulous Elizabeth at Austin's Tweet-Up, getting honey & cream lattes with Michelle, packing, unpacking, packing again, and practicing guitar (I'm playing three songs at Hangtown on the 25th this month - come see me - it's a Boys and Girls Club fundraiser night!).
This is what I wore to work on Thursday, and as much as I love those turquoise flats, my feet froze when it started pouring glacial rain!
Jeans: Citizens
Flats: Indigo via Buffalo Exchange
Black tank: Wal-Mart
Orange tank: Target
Cardigan: mall boutique in Little Rock
Necklace: Etsy
Lennon and I have been having some troubles that, while not new, are rising to alarming heads due to frequency. As sad as this makes the cloud around Valentines Day, we are planning on him staying here in Dallas for a few days when I go back to Austin to take a mini-break from each other, (and hopefully realize how much we miss one another).
We have had lots of conversations about how to better communicate before problems become arguments, but of course behavioral changes are difficult. While the arguments are often harsh - neither of us fight nice - they offer a chance for difficult but necessary character reflection.
What have you done to help get through rough patches in a relationship? Our relationship tends to move in extremes: it is either intensely positive or intensely negative. I would like to find a method for balance, not just for our relationship, but for the experience of smoother days, emotions, etc.
The petty news about this: I'll have to invest in a tripod while he's gone, or find a shelf at a handy height, as he's my prized photographer.
The good news is: we are determined to enjoy the remainder of our weekend and follow through with our trip plans. Luckily, when removed from the external stress of daily life, we don't fight.
More good news: it's figure skating season! I LOVE figure skating.
Michelle Kwan: world's most beautiful lady? Surely she's a contender, (Lennon votes Lady GaGa).
Also - Amy at Ha. Ha. Wait, What? sent me this really sweet award:
I'm going to pass this along to Lauralee, who has a shiny new blog called Martinis and String Bikinis. I love you, cousin!
Labels:
advice,
awards,
clothes,
frustrations,
life in general
Thursday, February 4, 2010
My Valentine? Radical Self Love!
I suppose any one who runs a blog about themselves is automatically categorized as fully self-loving. I sort of disagree. Yes, I respect myself, and I am happy with where I am in life right now, but if I had confidence, I wouldn't be posting my thoughts and pictures to the safety of a non-reactive screen, I'd be on stage slamming poems, writing songs for the guitar, and working on my fiction. Blogging is much safer, easier, and offers a far slimmer chance of tangible failure. While I love blogging, I need to bust-a-rut of holding back in my non-cyber life and practice the sagely and tired advice of: accept failing as a possibility, and go forth anyway.
The first blog I ever started reading that wasn't a live journal was Gala Darling's. This month, she's proposing a project of "radical" proportions: stop trying to please others, and make the world better by being our best and true selves. Sounds good to me. I'm certainly lucky to have a boyfriend as my Valentine this year, but I'm completely on board with her proposition to be my my own "Valentine," and light up the world through acceptance and love, starting with ground zero.

My attitude is triple improved in this outfit, because I got the skirt for free at Tolly's Rock N'Swap last Saturday!
Skirt: free and snagged at the Austin Rock N' Swap
Boots: Hunter
Hoodie: Fossil (note those awesome pockets!)
Cardigan: Gap
Tank: Banana Republic (can I be any more preppy?)
Dove necklace: from Little Rock
Butterfly necklace: from Etsy
Rain: delightful
My photographer makes me feel very pretty. What makes you feel beautiful?
If you're wanting to throw embarrassment, self-consciousness, any any other suffocating hang-ups to the proverbial wind, consider participating in the radical-self-love challenge, and swing by here!
The first blog I ever started reading that wasn't a live journal was Gala Darling's. This month, she's proposing a project of "radical" proportions: stop trying to please others, and make the world better by being our best and true selves. Sounds good to me. I'm certainly lucky to have a boyfriend as my Valentine this year, but I'm completely on board with her proposition to be my my own "Valentine," and light up the world through acceptance and love, starting with ground zero.
"I’m delighted to announce that from now until the 28th of the month, in addition to your regular content, I’ll be dishing out tips on how to really truly madly deeply fall in love with yourself! Topics will range far & wide. Girl love...honoring & respecting yourself, positive self-talk, being assertive, manifesting your own dream girl persona & self-marriage are all up for grabs! Homework will be assigned (though it is totally optional, of course!), & I’ll be asking you to participate by sending in photos, stories & spreading the word!" - GalaSounds great! Speaking of self-love, while outfit photos may seem silly to some, it really is worthwhile to have the motivation to not dress like a slob everyday, and walk into a public space not feeling invisible and sloppy. The clothes don't make the man by any means, but they can help make the attitude. Self-love made manifest round one!
My attitude is triple improved in this outfit, because I got the skirt for free at Tolly's Rock N'Swap last Saturday!
Skirt: free and snagged at the Austin Rock N' Swap
Boots: Hunter
Hoodie: Fossil (note those awesome pockets!)
Cardigan: Gap
Tank: Banana Republic (can I be any more preppy?)
Dove necklace: from Little Rock
Butterfly necklace: from Etsy
Rain: delightful
My photographer makes me feel very pretty. What makes you feel beautiful?
If you're wanting to throw embarrassment, self-consciousness, any any other suffocating hang-ups to the proverbial wind, consider participating in the radical-self-love challenge, and swing by here!
Labels:
advice,
clothes,
girl's night,
holidays,
love notes
Monday, January 18, 2010
The Average Grocery Cost Debacle
Before I begin this post, can we talk about how much I love the hats my grandma makes me? She just sent me this peach beanie in the mail - and it may edge out the competition as my favorite. It's perfect for a sunny day that's too warm for jackets but too cool in the shade to walk around with a naked head. My co-workers and I are offering a knitting/gossip circle group to the girls in our after-school program this semester, so maybe I can sit in and learn how to knit too.
Hat: my Gramadear!
T-shirt: Delias
Undershirt: J. Crew
Jeans: Sevens from Buffalo Exchange
Shoes: sequined Chuck look-alikes by Gotta Flirt
Ok, back to my promised topic, food:
I know it's not proper etiquette to talk about money, but Lennon and I are having a disagreement, and I want to air it out in public and open up the debate. The topic is average weekly grocery expenditure.
Last week, I spent about $80 total on groceries. With this money, I made/acquired:
- Veggie chicken pot pie
- Veggie chicken tetrazzini
- Polenta with Italian eggs
- Tamale Pie
- Salsa from scratch
- Bagel, cucumber, cream cheese and tomato sandwiches
- Red wine
- Cereal
- Fruit for snacking
- Breakfast stuff
- Staples: milk, yogurt, etc.
- Corn and potato chowder
- Enchiladas Verde
- Butternut squash soup
- Veggie chicken pot pie (again)
- Pesto sauce from scratch
- Tomato sauce from scratch
- LOTS of fruit. (we both need to up our intake)
- Salad fixins
- Red wine
- Six pack craft beer
- Cereal
- Staples like OJ, milk, cooking spray, olive oil, more yogurt, etc.
He argues that the amount of money we have spent on groceries in recent weeks is ridiculous, but for a "family of two," the national average says that we are well below par. I offer up the following evidence from the USDA's Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion's average cost of grocery statistics:
For the age bracket of 19-50, with two people in a house, the "thrifty" average cost from November 2009 is about $80 a week, and the "low cost" average is $101. At $70 and $90 the past two weeks, I'd say we know how to pinch pennies. Lennon disagrees.
Is it too un-kosher to ask for opinions on this matter, or worse, ask what y'all's average cost of groceries is? Do you cook in or eat out? Prefer making from scratch or from a box? Clip coupons? I don't do that like I should, but I tried it once and found myself buying things I wouldn't have otherwise just because I had a coupon.
Our compromise is that Lennon and I will try and keep the monthly average on or under the $250 mark, which still seems very, very thrifty to me. If I had my way and the money, I'd be at Whole Foods every week! But considering our nick name for it: Whole Paycheck, that won't be happening anytime soon. My co-worker Elizabeth has raved about Central Market and it's price variance in product offerings, so maybe I can sneak over there from the regular HEB occasionally.
To conclude: I'd love to hear thoughts on the great grocery debate, and/or advice on belt tightening (in both senses, as eating out makes my middle expand).
Labels:
advice,
clothes,
finances,
food,
life in general
Friday, January 1, 2010
A Book A Week + Paper vs. Techy
For a recently-former high school English teacher, I have been a total slacker in my reading as of late. This is made especially apparent when I read about guys like Inaki Escudero who had the diligence to read a book a week for a year, (only 52 books). Michael Surtees interviewed Escudero, and asked him how he was motivated to set the goal of reading a book a week. Escudero referenced a New York Times article where a reporter had been in a race with the president to read the most books, and the president read 28. (George Bush - really?? Ok sorry...). Escudero rationalized that if a man as busy as the president can accomplish 28, then surely he could up the ante on his own literary intake.
One of my goals for 2010 is to read more print material. My default waiting-around reading material is twitter on my iphone, which is beyond sad, and embarrassing to admit. This is partially why I've started debating the merits of an electronic reader. As much as I love (love) printed books, I have a difficult time justifying the amount of paper they use, and the space they take up in my small apartment - not to mention how many heavy boxes they fill every time I move, (which let's remind myself, was four times last year).
The two I've heard the most about are the Amazon Kindle and the Barnes and Noble Nook. Are there others on the market? Does anyone own one? The idea of being able to carry a chunk of my library is incredibly tempting, especially since I'm the type to read three books at once, and just keep each one in a different room of the house. I also leave books out of my purse if they are heavy or thick, but I like being able to write in the margins. Dilema.
I've got a huge wish list on Amazon, and my eye on a few books I'd like to get to this year:
One of my goals for 2010 is to read more print material. My default waiting-around reading material is twitter on my iphone, which is beyond sad, and embarrassing to admit. This is partially why I've started debating the merits of an electronic reader. As much as I love (love) printed books, I have a difficult time justifying the amount of paper they use, and the space they take up in my small apartment - not to mention how many heavy boxes they fill every time I move, (which let's remind myself, was four times last year).
The two I've heard the most about are the Amazon Kindle and the Barnes and Noble Nook. Are there others on the market? Does anyone own one? The idea of being able to carry a chunk of my library is incredibly tempting, especially since I'm the type to read three books at once, and just keep each one in a different room of the house. I also leave books out of my purse if they are heavy or thick, but I like being able to write in the margins. Dilema.
I've got a huge wish list on Amazon, and my eye on a few books I'd like to get to this year:
Tales of a Punk Rock Nothing, recommended by my favorite Kinkos Club president and friend Laney
Life Is A Verb by Patti Digh
The China Study, because I'm one of those weird healthy food obsessed people... except for Cheetos. God, I love cheetos.
For wanting to be a fiction writer, I certainly snub fiction. I'm always open to good book recommendations, though, so if anyone's got any they are itching to share, please send them my way. I love any excuse to buy a new (or used) book.
Friday, December 11, 2009
An Open Letter To University Students, And Other Riduclous Winter Wear Wearers
Dear UT Students and People Who Dress Like UT Students,
In the past few weeks, the weather in sunny central Texas has taken an unpleasant turn towards cold and dank. In light of these chilly conditions, it has come to my attention that many central Texans, especially those walking on the UT campus or, worse, leaving UT campus to venture into more public arenas, must not know how to dress for temperatures that cause chill bumps to rise on one's skin. Evidence of this is prevalent anywhere girls between the ages of 16-22 can be found.
In light of this dilema, I have provided examples of several absurd outfits that have recently paraded about Austin, posing as acceptable winter clothing. I wish to inform the wearers, that not only are these outfits inadequate for cold weather, (and yes, I've lived in the great frozen north, I know how to bundle up), but they look plain silly. Or, perhaps I am just behind on my fashion, or worse, am overlooking the practicalities of these ensembles; if this is the case, please explain them to me via email or comment.
The "running shorts over leggings or tights with athletic shoes and a hoodie" creation. It seems counter-intuitive (at least to me) to pair two non-winter items, thinking they will combine into a winter-worthy piece. Remember the adage: two wrongs don't make a right? That applies here. PS - hoodies are not coats.
ridiculous winter outfit #2
The classic "my butt is burning but my feet are feezing" mini-skirt + Ugg boot combination. While I appreciate the symmetry of applying faux fur to both the lower and top halves of one's body, I still can not fathom how a mini skirt creates enough warmth to keep one's cheeks sufficiently cozy. Worse, the last time I saw this outfit in action was Tuesday, on a high school campus, on a teenage mother who had just had baby #2. Let's not even start to talk about the power of suggestion.
ridiculous winter outfit #3
Finally, there is the "Ugg-boots-tucked-over-sweat-pants-with-a-preppie-coat" concotion. Seriously? You have enough sense to wear a nice coat but wear it over baggy house pants tucked geekily into boots? I must be getting old, because this outfit makes me giggle.
Since the theme of the above ensembles seems to be comfort, (perhaps with the exception of outfit #2), I offer the following, simple, basic, classic elements of winter weather wear. These require no thought between bed and class, but at least make one look presentable enough so as not to appear like the bottom of a hamper was the origins of the outfit.
not ridiculous winter clothes
Blue jeans, a bag actually worthy of carrying books, a warm coat, cardigans acceptable for public appearances, and if you must - an Ugg shoe I actually don't hate - faux fur and all.
And if you protest that no one judges their classmates on a college campus, I have to confess, finally - I laughed at all the girls who wore PJ pants and equally ridiculous, sloppy items to class all through my university studies, and I wasn't the only one.
Love,
Amanda
Sunday, December 6, 2009
The Seven Deadly Sins of Staff Parties and Other Serious Business
Photo by Isto-Ica
In the past few years of teaching, I repeatedly commited the cardinal sin of office parties: I skipped them. Usually, the school hosted a round of bowling at a local alley, and teachers were randomly teamed in threes, as well as tasked to bring finger foods and put off any grudges towards department heads, administrators, or any other teacher that just annoyed the crap out of us in the teacher's lounge. No thanks, I'll pass. The fact that I hate bowling (gasp - I'm un-American), was only number three on the list of reasons I opted out of attending.
This year, in after-school programming, I've already attended one staff party, and have at least two more on my calendar before the season is over. Lucky for me, one of these is going to be hosted at a restaurant that I really like, and it would be silly to turn down free food. Liking my co-workers is also a plus, but none-the-less, I waddled around my house all day Saturday and never got my baking act together, so I almost showed up empty-handed to office party #1. Another sin. So, to help others avoid the mistakes I so easily stack up, here are:
The Seven Deadly Sins of Staff Parties
1) Not going. Nothing says to your boss "I don't want to spend any more time around you people than mandated," than skipping the party. It's especially a bad move if no one wants to attend said party, and everyone ends up bitterly resenting the skippers. Don't be a skipper.
2) Arriving empty handed. Most parties require bringing a side item, a beverage, or some variety of white elephant gift. On Saturday I didn't bring a white elephant gift, leaving my hosts to scramble around their house for something they were willing to give up so that I could participate. Talk about feeling guilty. Also, everyone who did bring gifts brought random, funny crap - like the hand carved, spread wing Eagle figurine, or the sausage pig candle holder. My "gift" ended up being a VHS copy of Junior. I'm sure my hosts are missing that cinematic treasure right about now.
3) Bringing store bought baked goods. "Hello, my name is lazy - can I please come in and put my HEB box of cookies next to your hand tossed tabouleh salad with finger crushed pistachios?" Yeah, I was also guilty of this on Saturday. As penance, I also brought wine. Which leads me to...
4) Drinking too much. Everyone warns against this, and everyone does so for a reason. A sloppy drunk is not soon forgotten. Save it for Sixth Street and the throngs of anonymous people who won't remember your face if you happen to vomit on their shoes.
5) Revealing water cooler secrets to the whole guest list. Oh, I'm sorry, you mean you hadn't told all of your cubicle mates about your toe nail fungus problem? Don't sweat it, our boss got crabs from the chick in accounting. I mean...
6) Staying too long. You don't win points if the host sends out a text to someone, (say... me), that says "When are they going to leave? I'm old and want to go to bed." Received about 10:30 PM on Saturday. Glad I left at 8!
7) Taking someone from work home with you. While I'm sure most offices are highly incestuous after-hours, there's no need to make that move after you're three wine coolers deep and starting to think you could care less what rumors are spread about you, because, hey - this isn't middle school. Um, yes. Yes it is middle school. Perhaps worse. Save the pick-ups for crowds where everyone doesn't know your name, social security number, and place of employment. It's just bad news.
Is there anything I missed? Not having two straight weeks of holiday makes me seriously ponder going back to teaching, bowling and all. But then again, not having to write a semester test may make up the difference.
And if anyone has any funny office party stories to share, I would love to hear them.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Rio Rita + A Few Tips On How to Tip a Waiter
The first place I ever went in Austin was Rio Rita, near 6th street in East Austin. This, of course, is if I don't count the few trips to Highland Mall I've made with my step-sisters on our regular day-after-Christmas-pilgrimage to Austin for the past few years that we've been a family. Rio Rita was my first night out in Austin, where I met Eirik before going to watch him host the weekly poetry slam down the street at the Scoot Inn.
The website claims that it is a "swanky lounge" at night, and this is an accurate description. I really didn't feel cool enough to be there, nor have I ever since then, but the bloody Mary's (also known as mini-salads) are so damn good that I'm going to keep wearing my hipster cloak so I can sneak in. If I could present the drool that just filled my mouth when I typed out the words "bloody Mary" as evidence, then you'd know that Pavlov didn't lie, and neither do I. They are fan-freaking-tastic, but will burn you like a scorned ex-girlfriend, so chase it with water if you're a wimp like me.
In thinking about restaurants, I wanted to post a few notes about proper tipping etiquette, as I don't feel these rules have been shared with enough people. When I made my first trip to Rio Rita, I was surviving off my tips as a waitress at the Killeen Bennigan's, since I'd left my job of teaching high school kids to read real good so that I could move here. And when I say "surviving off tips," I really mean stuffing my pockets with nickels so I'd make a cool jingly sound when I walked, then bumming actual dollars off my friends and family so I could eat, (thanks guys).
So, in the spirit of the holiday season, exorcise your inner scrooge, and follow my tipping guide to make sure that you aren't short-changing any of the gracious wait staff you encounter at your favorite eateries:
Rules for Tipping Like You Care About Human Life:
1) Tip 20%. This is not difficult to figure out. 10% = moving the decimal place over ONE SPOT. For example, if your bill is $17.83, then 10% is $1.78. Now double this to get 20%. And if you either don't know how to add in your head, or want to double insure that you aren't a jerk, then ROUND UP to the next whole number. So your final tip should be either $3.60 for the thrifty diner, or man up, and tip a full $4.00. That waiter probably spent at least an hour tending to your table. Don't you think he or she at least deserves 4/hour for their time?
2) TIP FOR THE WHOLE BILL. Not the discounted bill. Not minus what you sent back. Not the cost after coupon. So this rule should be broken down into three parts:
a) You didn't like something and the cost was deleted. Tip as if the price were still on the bill.
b) You ordered something and exchanged it for something else. That's double the work. And in both this scenario and the one above, your server has to track down the manager, display the rejected dish, explain the reason for the send back, get the manager to delete the charge from the bill, (tracking down a manager can be like hunting wildabeasts in New York), explain to the cooks what was wrong, wait on the new dish in neglect of other tables so it can be brought back ASAP, and then the waiter must be really apologetic as though it were their fault you didn't like the dish they had no hand in making.
c) You had a coupon. 20% off. Kids eat free. Whatever. Tip as though you didn't have it.
3) Keep in mind that your waiter is not: the cook, the bar tender, or the manager. Your waiter has no control over how long the food takes to make, how it tastes, or how long it takes for your drink to come up at the bar. Do not punish the waiter because the kitchen staff and/or bar staff is slow. Note: it is also not the waiter's fault if the dishwasher quits at the beginning of shift, and no food can come out until all of the backed up dishes have been cleaned so there's a fresh plate to serve your dinner on.
4) At most restaurants, your waiter will tip out the host, the kitchen staff, and the bussers. That means that 3% of your $4 tip does not stay in his or her pocket. Most hosts only get this 3% as their pay. I once busted my butt filling in as a host for a four hour shift and only made $20. Mad? Indeed I was. Let's not even talk about how much my master's degree cost. $20 bucks for four hours? Grumble grumble.
5) $5 is not the universal tip for a large bill. Don't look at your $45 dollar bill and think that throwing down a fiver is decent compensation because five bucks to you seems like a lot of money. Do the math. 20%.
Eirik accusing me of leaving dishes in the sink at home. This is why we eat out. And tip well. Dirty dishes are gross, especially other people's.
Labels:
advice,
Austin,
charity,
frustrations,
restaurants
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Travel Like A Pro Part 1: Skirts In Boots
Having grown up as a military brat, I've done a lot of travelling. Maybe not enough to qualify as an expert, but close enough to know how to travel well. So, to celebrate one of my talents - travelling - I'm going to do a few posts with travel tips, just in case your holidays involve cross country treks, continental skips, calculated avoidance of relatives, or all of the above.
First up on the agenda: packing clothes that are both casual and dressy enough to not look like a miscreant in a nice restaurant. It's also important to not look like one of those harried airport patrons wearing sweats with "Juicy" across the butt while sitting next to a woman in a pencil skirted-business suit with her legs crossed away from the pink mess beside her. Trashy.
The easiest and most versatile way to pack, for warm weather or cold, is to take skirts and boots. Boots keep your legs warm, skirts always look nice, and regardless of stereotypes, skirts are way more comfortable than jeans. To pair a skirt with boots, I recommend going with flared, a-line skirts that can be matched with plain t-shirts, sweaters, or nicer blouses.
Above are a few of my favorites:
1) Yellow "Great Escape" skirt from Anthropologie.
2) "Little Birds" skirt from Etsy seller alejandrina.
3) Cashmere "Working Girl" skirt from Etsy seller Econica.
4) Shirred wool skirt (available in four colors) from J. Crew.
Being anti-leather, all of the boots I picked out as favorites are vegan and cruelty free. A long list of animal-friendly, skin-free online retailers can be found at Peta's website (don't be scared off, it's just a list of stores) under Compassionate Shopping Guide.
These boots, going clockwise, can be found online:
1) Charcoal faux suede slouch boot by Zulu at Alternative Outfitters.
2) Thames by Neuaura brown dress boot at at Vegan Chic.
3) Tom's vegan wrap boot (in four colors), and remember that if you buy a pair of Tom's shoes, then they give a pair to a child in need.
4) Zarrah boot from Madden Girl at Moo Shoes.
I haven't gotten around to buying a new pair of boots yet - all the pairs I own are either leather and I feel too guilty to wear them, or they make my feet look too big because I didn't size them right. I've got my eye on that slouch pair, though.
What do you like to pack for travelling? Are you an anti-sweats-in-airports person, or am I alone on that...
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