Perks of the Job: Free T-Shirts, and a Wee Bit About the Austin Film Society

Working in a non-profit may not come with glamour or high-pay, but one thing I do get plenty of: free t-shirts!  Earlier this week, Jonny Stranger game me this one from the Austin Film Society.  At first, I saw it was a large and was afraid I would swim in it, but to my glee (surprise!?) it fits perfectly.  To my chagrin, upon viewing this photograph, I realize I neglected to consider that using a mirror would result in the words coming out backwards... sigh.

I didn't know this when I first moved to Austin, but it's quite the film hub.  My step-sister's first job interview was with Troublemaker Studios, and then I was informed that all of the celebrities staying in town can be spotted on South Congress because they stay in the Hotel San Jose.  I've never been much of a celeb-spotter, but I did work at the Bunch of Grapes in Martha's Vineyard one summer, and I checked out Spike Lee and Michael J Fox; I certainly felt special at the time. 

I've never been much of a film buff - but I am snob enough to turn my nose up at beloved movies such as Elf, (no matter how much I love Bob Newhart), and my students' first question when I brought in a movie was "Does it have subtitles?" (with a long groan). 

Nonetheless, I regret having missed the Austin Film Festival this year - but it won't happen again.  Until then, I'm happy being a patron of Austin orignals I Luv Video and the Alamo Drafthouse, and now that I'm signed up to follow AFS tweets, maybe I'll be more up to date on screenings and premieres, or accidently swagger into the background of a movie set - seeing as Austin IS a "blockbuster location."

Oh - and I can't forget my hand delivered copy of P.O.V. - I appreciate every little bonus I get.  And I doubly appreciate Jonny's comic on claymation, as he's been working on claymation with my students, and I enjoy his Prometheus reference, being an English teacher at heart.  Bottom line: yay free stuff.  I'll call it my non-profit swag. 

I also get to beam over cool things my kids make with Jonny, like this!  Wish I had this program in Arkansas ten years ago...

The Flying Saucer UFO Club's Newest Member & Plan Your Week

Last night, a friend from Arkansas drove down to Austin, and it was just in time to attend our friend JB's UFO party at the Flying Saucer.  JB has, over the course of many months, tasted 200 beers at the Saucer, earning himself a gold rimmed platter with his name on it (in the corner, above the hallway to the restooms!).  The Saucer in Little Rock was a second home, as many a Monday Pint Night, Tuesday Trivia Night, It's-sleeting-and-work-is-cancelled-tomorrow night, and weekend no-good-bands-are-playing-elsewhere night were spent drinking Shiners and Blue Moons in the warm glow of the copper penny back splash.  So, who says you can't go home again?

This weekend/week in Austin is going to be nuts, there's so much going on.  Here are my picks for the week:

Friday - While my friend might have driven in to see Mastadon and Dethklock at the Austin Music Hall, I'll take the Monsters of Folk with Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes playing at Stubbs.  Plus, Bishop Allen is at Mohawk, but I've already seen them in Little Rock.  Leave it to Beverly at The Off Center is also happening tonight - a play about 60's sitcoms gone wrong.  Either way, I'll be at a birthday party, bringing a six pack as a present.  I should also mention that it's the Boys and Girls Club Fall Gala - which I could never afford a ticket to, but if I didn't already have plans, I could go to for free/as a volunteer... and the menu, steak aside, was certainly tempting. 




Saturday - The East Austin Studio tour kicks off!  Be sure to stop by the studio of Michael Long, an artist and photographer who teaches art to my kids after school five days a week.  Even some of our toughest, don't-like-anybody-in-authority teenagers, like Michael Long, so you should too. 

Sunday - The Swell Season at the Paramount!  If you've seen the movie Once, then you probably love them.  I got to see them play at BU in Boston last year, which is lucky because I certainly can't afford a ticket to the Paramount.  Last year, I used the movie to do a compare/contrast essay with my senior English class over James Joyce's short story Eveline.  A few soundtracks were purchased afterward.  Seeing as I am poor, I will be attending the Flipside Flyers aerial silk performance at 4:30, and then the Austin Garden Party at 6:00, both more within my budget.

Monday - Bob Schneider and Rosie Flores at the Saxon Pub.  Enough said. 

Tuesday - Eisley at Emo's.  They aren't the featured act - but I love their vocals, plus they're a Texas band. 

Wednesday - The Get Up Kids at Emo's!  Get out of my way, because I will be front row and center.  I've loved them since the tenth grade, and Something To Write Home About is still the only CD I've ever had to replace because I played/play it so much. 




Thursday - Girl crush night - Holly Miranda playing solo at Mohawks.  Tickets: bought. 

What are your plans this week?

Little Rock Central High School's GSA Club

Last night I got in bed and curled up with the latest issue of NEA Today.  Even though I'm not teaching this year, I'm still a member of the National Education Association, and receive their magazine as a benefit.  The cover stories "Literature in the Digital Age" and "Religious Groups Reach Out to Schools" initially attracted me to the October/November issue, but reading through it, I turned the page and got very excited to see a photograph of a familiar sight - Little Rock Central High School.

Most people recognize Central High as the infamous sight of the Little Rock Nine, where Little Rock public schools attempted integration for the first time by enrolling nine students from the all-black high school across town.  One of the most famous images of this incident is that of Elizabeth Eckford attempting to enter the school while separated from the other eight.  The incident gained national press when the National Guard was called in, Little Rock's white population went crazy, and the following year all schools were closed to eliminate the possibility of integration.  I'm happy to say, as a Little Rock native, that this is not the climate in Little Rock any more.  When I was in eighth grade, the 40th anniversary of the incident rolled around and President Clinton came to speak to the huge, multi-ethnic crowd.  In fact, I'd venture a guess that Central High is now majority African-American.  There are also a lot more private schools in Little Rock with large white populations... but we won't get in to that now. 

The facade of Central is still just as grand as ever, but I remember visiting friends there when I had a day off from my private school, and some of the walls were crumbling in the classrooms.  Luckily, (prepare for a bad pun), walls aren't the only things that are still crumbling at Central, (and in all fairness, they might have repaired that problem since I was last there).

 

The article I turned to in NEA Today was called "The Power of One," and was written to encourage teachers to embrace students of the GLBTQ (gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, queer) community in order to prevent incidents ranging from bullying, to dropping out, to suicide.  The driving point of the article is to remind educators of the importance of "adults who will stand up for (the GLBTQ students)" being present in schools.

Aside from both loving the message and bitterly thinking about how my job might have been in jeopardy if I had ever proposed sponsoring a Gay Straight Alliance at the last school I worked in, I got excited to see that the curly haired youth on the far right is Devon Beardon, a student I had the pleasure of meeting at CAR - the Center for Artistic Revolution, in Little Rock when I visited their youth section - DYSC - Diverse Youth for Social Change.

Both CAR & DYSC are amazing programs headed up by Randi Romo, who is Devon's grandmother, and who I also had the extremely good fortune of accidentally meeting at a poetry reading at Sticky Fingerz, during the Arkansas Literary Festival that Lennon and I volunteered for last April.  When I told Randi about seeing the article, she said there was one false bit of information - that a former Central student profiled, Jeanie, had not been beaten up in front of teachers in the Central High parking lot, but that she had been bullied, and an administrator had threatened to expel her if she brought forth any more complaints about her treatment.  I hope whoever said that to her has since been fired.

The article also details the importance of teacher support for ALL students, establishing groups like the Gay Straight Alliance, which we had at my high school in northwest Arkansas when I was a senior in 2002, establishing policies against intolerable behavior - including my pet peeve - calling things "gay" - (ask any of my former students - my class was a no gay/retarded zone!), and participating in the Day of Silence, which students at my last school did do on their own.  The next one coming up is April 16, 2010.  I want to get one going at my current school through the Youth for Unity program!

Another element of the article was the suggestion of incorporating characters and literature into the high school canon of required reading.  I had the book Parrotfish by Ellen Wittlinger, about a transgender teen, on my classroom library shelf, and it was checked out multiple times, and the students who read it enjoyed it and recommended it to others without any raise of an eyebrow, (it was the administration and parts of the community that I saw as ultra-conservative).  It was also telling, to me, that a film like Milk came out (no pun this time) and met success in a city like Little Rock, that is often overlooked by the cosmopolitan crowd.

I hope that with the recent speech by Obama, as well as other advances in cultural dialogue, will encourage schools and students to catch up with the age of tolerance.  It would seem obvious that a society divided by prejudice and hate can not thrive, but then one hears the term "gay" slung around hallways as though it had no tangible affect on individuals, and it becomes clear that the collective empathy of American society still has a long way to go.

Even after teaching Elie Wiesel's Night and a holocaust unit, there was still a large disconnect in students between the lessons of history and their daily lives.  A unified front is necessary to quell the accepted intolerance practices that permeate modern speech and thought.  I'm happy to be a part of an organization like NEA that backs cultural acceptance of all people - old and young.

Hip Hop Theatre Explosion at The Vortex

On Friday I got to take my kids on their first fieldtrip.  Part of the after-school program I run has a group called S.O.U.L. Sessions that comes in to teach kids kids breakdancing, DJ'ing, and free style hip-hop.  This organization also works with another Austin group, the Cipher, that is comprised of local hip-hop artists, including a student or two from the high school where I work.  The fieldtrip was to the Vortex Theatre to see Hip Hop Explosion.  The students I took got to break dance and rap with members of SOUL Sessions and the Cipher.  They also got to see one of their mentors, a Safe Place employee, and phenomenal youth worker, (she appropriatley runs a group called Phenomenal Women), perform with her group Public Offenders.  The sets of the show included break dancing, several rappers, a slam poet, Public Offenders, and the Cipher.  Zell Miller III (also works for my program) wasn't hosting that night, but the lady who was did well and is much prettier :)

I'm not really into hip hop, but I like connecting students to an art form that they are willing to embrace, and when I see them perform and do well, I want everyone else to know that those are my kids and they are stellar.

So really... what job could be better than essentially being a youth-enrichment-specialist?  Our next big fieldtrip is a tour of Austin graffiti art to prepare the kids to create a large mural under the guidance of SOUL Sessions artists.  Not a bad day at the office, even if I didn't get home till midnight on Friday.   

Dropouts More Likely To Become Incarcerated... WHO KNEW!?

Oh New York Times, I love you, so very very much. But really? You have to support people who get paid to conduct common sense studies? Or maybe this comes as a shock to people outside of the education sphere... if this is true then please correct me. Otherwise, please tell me why university researchers are spending their time proving that high school drop-outs are more likely to end up in the slammer.

I'm very frustrated at work right now, because I have a young man who has been bounced around schools, and for whatever reason, has to do twenty hours of community service by October 14th (less than a week away) or he goes to juvenile hall. He came to me begging for opportunities to complete these hours.... yesterday. So I wrote up a schedule of ways he could get twenty hours from the club between now and then. Right away I set him up serving the free dinner we offer to the kids. Ten minutes later I turn around, turn back, and he's playing ping-pong, and has decided he doesn't care and will just go to juvenile hall. And in my position, the most threatening thing I can say to him is that I'm going to call his mom and discuss his decision with her, although I'm sure she's aware of his attitude by this point, considering that juvenile hall is the next step in his city mandated disciplinary proceedings. I smack my forehead. A lot.

Dear Northeastern U., please hire me and give me grants. I will give you first hand insight into high school strugglers and drop-outs, no survey needed. K,thanks.

Living La Dolce Vita

Photo by -Dons'

My step-sister didn't get to come in to Austin for a meeting this week, but last week she came and I took her to Dolce Vita in Hyde Park. I'd never been before, but I like any place that uses fairy lights as decor. When we walked in, Courtney and I were instantly enamored with the display case full of gelato. The original quest for coffee was quickly forgotten.

Courtney was a bit wiser than me in ordering a small, whereas I opted for the medium, which must translate in Italian to oh-my-good-lord huge. It was worth it though. That's a giant glass cup of Mexican Chocolate flavored gelato with m&m's on top. It was spicy. And delicious. And spanked my mouth so bad I went through two cups of water before finishing. She had Nutella-peanut butter, but it tasted more like peanut butter with wisp of Nutella.

When I was in college I worked for a gelataria called Teatro Scarpino, and I got to cook and mix the gelato every day, so I consider myself a connoisseur.

The counter I got to hang out behind for twenty hours a week and the kitchen behind it. The whole dining room was pink with fairy lights. It was the perfect job for my undergraduate self.

This week I had no Courtney to entertain me, but making the short leap from the coffee shop and gelataria Dolce Vida, the joy of classic cinema quickly came to mind, and I was happily reminded that Tuesdays are free beer night at the I Luv Video on Airport. There's not much that free beer can't make up for, even a 9.5 hour work day on a five hour work day salary. Luckily, I like my job. Although today I had to present to teachers at a faculty meeting, and I felt the need to constantly remind the group that I used to be in their teacher club. I think I miss it, a lot. But then I went back to my office and started writing curriculum for a literary magazine program that incorporates the cultural history of zines and salon, as well as a Culture Club (pun intended) curriculum about the Mexican Dia De Los Muertos while looking up sugar skull recipes to do with my kids, and I realized that my new job pretty much rocks.


I'll simply have to find new ways to exert my inner scholarly snob. Luckily, I Luv has a vast documentary section, which I've only taken a two video nibble of. The snobbery can continue.

Hayley - I hope this helps.

The Red Wheelbarrow
William Carlos Williams

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

When I taught English the past three years, (which I'd like to go back to at the college level in the not-so-distant future), I liked to use art as an introduction to analyzing, interpreting, and later creating symbolism and metaphor with my students. With the help of power point, William Carlos William's "The Red Wheelbarrow," and some well-known artists with heavy symbolism in their paintings, I opened up each poetry unit with class discussions about the significance of elements in a handful of artistic works. This Williams poem is ideal because it immediately draws attention to color symbolism, (a great follow up for this is the film What Dreams May Come), as well as free association with the objects depicted, as well as incites a discussion around William's spacing of the words. I used the colors, objects, placement, etc, to launch into the analyzation of art work that I projected onto the front screen, (which I'm old enough to remember actually watching film strips on in elementary school).

Andy Warhol was an easy place to start, simply by having the kids pay attention to the artificial coloring of his subject, the intentional over-the-line placement of the color, as well as the facial expression on the particular photo he chose. I had the kids take notes in their composition books so they could keep track of both their own opinions, and the ideas expressed by their neighbors.

Frida Kahlo is also excellent for inciting class discussion, and I chose images like the Two Fridas above, El Venadito and Border Women. She has so many details in her paintings that it was exciting for the kids to get to write down as many as they could find and then talk with each other about what the different pieces meant and how they fit together into a cohesive message. Every class period I learned something new from the kids.

And in case it wasn't obvious, I'm a huge Frida Kahlo fan. Today was especially exciting because I got to see a real Frida up close at the Harry Ransom Center on the UT campus. They had Self Portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird on display and it was the first time I'd ever been able to see a painting of hers close enough to make out brush strokes.

The discussion concluded with Edward Hopper, who I first learned about in an Asian Studies class when I was in high school. The teacher talked to us about Hopper's depictions of light and dark and the theories of the darkness as the unknown human psyche and the west's fear of exploring these shrouded parts of our selves. Etcetera. I would post the painting Gas and we would discuss the source of light in the painting, the direction the man was facing, the road dividing the natural world from the man-made world, and it always yielded new insight for me.

The culmination of this discussion was to write an eckphrastic poem about the Magritte piece, Son of Man, to see if the students could implement their new take on symbolism and its assorted manifestations in art and literature. The above painting, Homesick, is one of my favorites, though, and I've often thought of getting part or most of it as a tattoo, perhaps on my hip since I've read that's what women use to lead with when they walk, and I'd like to think I'm always walking homeward, even if starting out in the opposite direction.

Hayley, if you're feeling renegade then you could analyze my new found love - Banksy. I recommend browsing through his site to find some of his images, since he has a lot to say about modern culture in his works. Plus, having an idea of who your AP Language and Comp teacher is, I think her reaction to graffiti art would be PRICELESS. But you know... your paper, your call :)

I miss my classroom! And my lessons! And (most of) my kids! But not 8AM first period. I'll gladly trade that for my after-school program director hours. Another potential perk of college teaching - a dynamic schedule.

And on a final note - not that I'm sure where you'd go with analyzing his pieces, but I also think that Alphonse Mucha is very beautiful. If I decide to get one of his images tattooed on me, I've already got a spot picked out.

I wish I could give you some more esoteric artists, but you have to forgive me, as my studies were English literature, and I only know the art that is popular or that I stumble upon. Good luck with your analysis!

Banksy & Hope

Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen.

- John le Carre

It is part of my Bookpeople visit tradition to stop in the art section and browse the graffiti artist compilation books, and it was on one of these visits that Lennon pointed out the graffiti artist that everyone else in the world is apparently familiar with but me - Banksy. I've never really been interested in graffiti art until my friend from high school, Lee, began doing stencil art pieces that I liked because they looked both beautiful and complicated, which I had never noticed before in my prior dismissals of graffiti art. I wish I could unwire the part of my brain that immediately dismisses everything at first glance, I miss a lot of things because of this.

I've gained a renewed interest in graffiti art since bringing in a program vendor to the after school program I am a co-director of - a vendor called S.O.U.L. Sessions (Strengthen Our Urban Legacy), who, in addition to bringing in break dancers, beat boxers, and free style hip-hop artists (all foreign to me), works with the students on graffiti art. And not tips on tagging, but large, beautiful pieces.

The frustrating fact of my job is that very few of the remaining students at the school (it's AYP 5 - "academically unacceptable"), are not interested in very many things, at least not that I have been able to tell or tap into. Like teaching, my afternoons out of the office and in the club with the kids are very rollercoastery - yesterday was terrible, with disrespect, talk-back, rule disregarding, poor program attendance, etc, while today was much better, with our girls-only group that discusses relationships and abuse having a large turn out of eight, and two boys challenging me to games of pool - which in my job, is a huge deal. Nonetheless, it has been the academic equivalent of Sisyphus to encourage kids to participate in enrichment programming like S.O.U.L. Sessions and the other really amazing (and I mean amazing) vendors we have contracted to come into the school to teach kids (fun things - like film making, slam poetry, Capoeira... etc).

Yesterday a student started snapping and cussing at me for asking to see his attendance wrist band, and it shook me the same way confrontation did in my classroom my first year of teaching. It is very different to interact with students I do not see for an hour every day in a studious environment. I still don't know most of their names, and my authority reaches no further than telling a behavior case that they need to leave and can't come back for X number of days. My co-worker has promised to bring me a short book to read about the psychology of children who grow up in poverty - about the survival mechanisms employed by some kids, a subject utterly foreign to me, and thus renders me unsure of how to react or handle some situations. I'm not new to urban schools, but this stint is completely different from anything I've tried before, and it's certainly trying my resolve some days.

After yesterday's encounter with the one belligerent boy and the other issues we had, it made me very happy to see this tattoo posted on Contrariwise with the tagline "there is always hope."

This, of course, led me on a scavenger hunt across the internet looking at Banksy pieces and stories, realizing that I've been, perhaps, the only person out of the loop until now, (which is not that unusual). I find it odd that people "buy" his pieces, since he's quoted as saying: “Any advertisement in public space that gives you no choice whether you see it or not is yours, it belongs to you. It’s yours to take, rearrange and re-use. Asking for permission is like asking to keep a rock someone just threw at your head.”

This quote resonated in my head and I thought of all of the images and information that I'm confronted with everyday, whether or not it is by choice - even the check-out belt at the grocery store register has advertisements printed on it that scroll as I set my groceries on top of them. It's tiresome to recollect all of the colors and text that are thrown at my eyes all day. It's even more tiresome to try and get some students to realize this - I taught propaganda when we read Night in my sophomore English classes, and it always reminded me of the anonymous quote: the fish is the last one to see the water. This in turn reminds me of that meditation practice I've been putting off...

When I got home I attempted to insist on vacuuming, but was informed I needed to stop moving and lay down to rest for thirty minutes. Thirty turned into two and a half, and it's time I should return, since I only got up to eat a dinner of cheerios, about an hour ago.

The Jealous Girlfriends: Secret Identity. This seems appropriate after writing a few lines about Bansky. Plus, I just love them.

Dear Third Quarter,

OUT!

I think you should know that I am tired of the paper weights that have been sitting beneath my ears like shoulder pads, weighing down my posture and my performance, possibly damaging my ability to think straight and reason like a sane person. I apologize for the grades not entered .2 seconds after being handed in, but my turn over rate tends to be slow as I am a methodical individual with more side projects than trolleys at a circus freak show. But now, at 11:30 PM, after much procrastination, pain, and perturbation, it is all finished. And now, maybe I will have time for poetry without guilt. For an evening without homework hanging over my head like branches - the twigs poking me in the eye. But I digress. It is finished. And there are no more worries or assignments to haggle and heartbreak over until morning, when fourth quarter rears its long, drawn out head. Here's to the last stretch of school till summer, and survival.

RedWhite&Blurred

Here is my new favorite shirt dress by BB Dakota that I bought for 50% off. The teacher's apple locket necklace is also a favorite. I've always had a thing for lockets.

In other news of favorites: Marcia Tate is AMAZING and if you work in education at all you must must go see and participate in one of her workshops. I shall be purchasing a light up magic wand very soon.

nail biting

This morning I got my first offer on the house. With a listing price of $99,900, the buyers offered a price of $95,500 but asked for me to pay up to $3500 in closing costs, making the total net offer $92,000. After a counter, a counter-counter, and a counter-counter, my final price is $98,500 with the closing costs covered, making the total net for me $95,000. I bought the house for $73,500 and paid $1000 of the closing costs. I'm hoping my pre-tax check from the mortgage company will come in at $20,000. That would make me very happy. Right now I have to wait and try to get sleep not knowing whether or not they will accept my final offer. I won't go lower than $95,000 - it'll be too close to breaking even, and I have put WAY too much blood and sweat into this house to break even or (NOOO!) take a loss. The excellent news, though, is that this offer came in this morning, after my house had been on the market for ONE WEEK.

If I get this hypothetical $20,000 check, though... none of it is really mine because I probably owe that much on my credit card between my graduate school tuition, my furniture, re-wiring this house, plus all the other renovation materials and costs - oh, and some new clothes and a plane ticket. My plan is to pay down almost half of the debt and put the rest in my bank account. I'll transfer the rest of my debt to a new card with a year of 0% interest, and hopefully my next renovation will yield enough to pay off all debt and put me on top of where I would have been had I never dabbled in real estate. The goal is to get enough money to pursue some writing and travel. I want to be wreckless in my youth, I also want to be well and independently funded. My grandmother had to loan me money this month in order to keep my head above water. I could have done without it, but it would have cut very close to the danger zone. Neither borrowing nor having $100 dollars to my name feels very good. Come on, accept my counter-counter-counter offer!

I had been planning to go to a teacher workshop tomorrow called "Worksheets Don't Grow Dendrites" which is supposed to be amazing, but sadly I realized that it is 1.5 hours away in a rural elementary school cafeteria. This location for the workshop makes no sense to me, and I decided to bow out. I'll spend the day tidying up my yard in case the offer doesn't go through and more buyers need to come through. Friday's workshop, "Shouting Won't Grow Dendrites" is by the same lady, and is actually being held in a place I know - my own school! I'll go to that one. I need sixty professional development hours per year, and I'm on the cusp of throwing in the towel on finding another job. The towel is pretty much in the hamper. An extra year of teaching will probably be better for me in the long run - but I'm sad to say that I am not looking forward to it. I hate the commute, and as much as I like English literature and most of my students, (I adore quite a few), I hate repeating myself literally six times a day. My goal is to eventually have a job that neither makes my brain numb nor gives me cotton mouth. Again: come on, accept my final price! Patience is overrated.

The big accomplishment for today, though: I got my bike tuned up at Chainwheel and purchased (spending my profit again) a bike rack for my car. The bike is back, and I couldn't be more excited! This evening I went around part of the River Trail - I saw two skunks (a safe distance away) and birds sweeping the sky at sunset. Biking is surely the sport of dreamy nature lovers.

Look out, Boston!

Joanie, Dave, Me, Sarah, Ana, and Josh outside the White House c.2003

I just bought my tickets to go see two of my best friends from my year at George Washington! We're going to meet in Boston, MA and the first thing on the agenda is to go see Julia sing/play in her band The Deckhands. I'm so excited by the combination of seeing Joanie and Julia and going on an actual trip. My poor American Express card is officially maxed out now (thanks Continental); travelling is not a luxury for the masses. Nonetheless, I do have to recommend cheaptickets.com. I spent two hours searching kayak.com, Yahoo Travel, AirTran, Southwest, etc., and this search yielded the best price, (but just barely).

My house is officially on the market as of two days ago. This is the truly nerve wracking part: will anyone actually want to buy what I have worked so hard (and spent so much) on? The MLS is 10198741, and the official asking price is $99,900. I've already got my eye on another project if I actually sell this one. Two days and no visitors, though. I feel a little bit like an artist or musician who has just put a piece out there and is now certain it sucks. How disconcerting.

The process of putting it on the market was easier than I thought. It consisted of signing one piece of paper, and for once I did not have to write a check to anyone. My realtor took the pictures, posted a sign out front and it was done. Now my job is to keep the place clean, (which isn't hard for me - somewhere in between being a messy five year old and now I became a neat freak). I had been very hesitant to put it on the market, thus why I've lived here for a month without doing so. I'd liken the experience to breaking up with someone you've been thinking about leaving for some time. Once it's done you wonder why it ever took you so long.

I also finally listed my wedding dress (never worn - yes, I'm an engagement breaker) as "for sale" on craigslist and the Arkansas Times. I think letting that go is going to be a huge step in my resolve to get out and explore the world in the coming years of my life. Up till now my resolve had been to get married - and according to my friend Stephanie, it had been to have this act done by age 23, although I don't have ANY recollection of the passionate insistance of this that she swore I made. Selective memory.

Tomorrow is my last day as a "substitute summer school teacher." I've been a bad teacher this week - assigning work and sitting at the back of the class rather than doing active teaching. For this one week, I've made up my mind not to care. I'd prefer not to fight with students to see that their work gets done - they are already on chance no. 2, and quite frankly I don't wish to expend the energy. I have other places to channel it - like getting ready to go and have an amazing time in Boston!

An early wake up call.

Writing gives me affirmation that my own life is incredible. This is why I am so glad that I have kept a diary since the first grade, but disappointed in myself for abandoning it in the past two years. I have been reading a book on travel writing, (just for fun), and it offered some great advice on getting past a lull in writing. Apparently, John Steinbeck wrote Exit to Eden on half a notebook: on one side he kept a diary to get his thoughts going, and then on the opposite page would write the novel once he was warmed up. Sounds like something to try.

Today I began my first day as a substitute summer school teacher. I think that could possibly win the category of worst job title EVER. I had planned on actually having my own class for the three week session, (and making a bit of money), but then I was informed that I was only needed for a week as a fill in. I have ninth graders, and they were actually well behaved, mostly. A far cry from the juniors I had last year. I have a very difficult time swallowing attitude. I'm not sure which is worse: attitude from a teenager or attitude from an adult.

I have been glued to my television set during the rest of my free time, as the Travel Channel has been running a marathon of No Reservations. If it didn't kill me that Anthony Bourdain can slaughter a live pig with a spear and sleep well at night, he might be my idol. He killed that, too.

Sweating... in mulitple meanings

I just returned from my first (and last?) kickboxing class. This was not the kickboxing class I attended in high school. That one was led by an aerobics instructor, included lots of synchronized movement and was full of women who seemed too skinny to be working out that hard. It was a great work out - don't get me wrong - but I'm not an aerobics kind of girl. This class had about 5 women and the rest were big, burly men who wore real boxing shorts. I have not been this sweaty in a VERY long time. I want to believe I can commit to going at least twice a week, but when I signed up for Sunday yoga classes, I ran out of steam after the third week. I would REALLY like to build up the determination to go regularly, as I've been feeling uncomfortable with my body and dreading wearing a two piece. Perhaps this is bad, but I feel like buying a one piece is admitting defeat - it's saying I'm resolving that working out is no longer part of my life so I'm going to take measures to adapt.

In other sweating news, I'm supposed to close on my house on Thursday. There has been lots of issues with repairs of the foundation and the electrical work, so I simply reduced my offer, and haven't heard back yet. I also discovered, to my extreme chagrin, that my bank only accepts 3% of the closing costs from the seller's party, which is going to put me at least $1000 in the hole right off the top.

In double sweating news - I'm trying to work up the courage to compete in a poetry slam in May. I have no expectations to win, but I'd love to be active in the slam rather than simply an observer/supporter. I've brought two different slam poets into my classroom and my kids have loved them. I keep telling my kids to be courageous in both their writing and their sharing, so perhaps I could try taking my own advice.

Officially in Escrow

This week has been my spring break - which is one of the fabulous aspects of being a teacher. All the same vacations I enjoyed while still a student!

Despite the fact that I did not go anyplace out of city nor did I go shopping for clothes or shoes once this break, (I spent most of my week working on the historic home I'm co-renovating), it has been a very expensive vacation for me. It started when I viewed a two bedroom, one bath home close to the university in town, and decided I needed to buy it. The original list price was 82,000 but had been dropped to 79,9000. After several counter-offers, I secured it for 75,500 with closing costs to be paid by the seller, giving them a net total of 72,000 for the house. The house was built in 1950 and has been well maintained but needs some cosmetic fixes that will have to be low-price in order to not out-do the price range of the neighborhood. Most homes in that location go for $65,000-90,000 so I landed right in the middle with my final offer. I'll take possession of the house at the end of April, assuming nothing disastrous happens.

After this purchase occured, I began planning and mapping out the minor fixes I am going to do to this home. I will fund all of my work on this house using my AmEx card rather than taking out a bank loan, as I have 0% APR/interest until September, plus a nice, hefty credit limit, (potentially dangerous but thus far under used). I'm going to paint the "L" shaped living and dining area a lightlight chocolate brown and cream, and decorate with a chocolate and turquoise design scheme centered around my oatmeal colord couches. Luckily, I have a grandma who can sew curtains and pillows in any color I desire.

The kitchen has white cabinets I would like to reface, and I'd like to re-do the counters and floor with new laminates, as well as paint the walls a gun metal blue. I'd also like to find some used black appliances, and maybe purchase a butcher block island to put in the center, (the previous owners fit a set of table and chairs, so it's quite large).

The bathroom is going to be either cream or light celedon, and I bought a leaf covered shower curtain and candle from Pottery Barn that were both on sale, as well as an antiqued map wooden wall hanging that was 50% off at Hobby Lobby and will match the shower curtain beautifully.

To top off what I bought for the house I don't even technically own yet, I bought a beautiful vanity/mirror/stool set that I found at a high end furniture gallery for about 45% off. I go pick it up tomorrow. It's a bit feminine for staging a home, but it will go nicely with my wrought iron bed that has been sitting sadly in storage all year and the pistachio walls I intend to paint in one of the bedrooms.

The good news is that the backyard is big and fenced so I can have both my black lab and M.'s chow mix come live with me.

The interest rate on the house is good, too, coming in at 5.7%. Now is a good time to buy properties as prices are low due to lots of product on the market, and banks really want to seduce qualified buyers into making home purchases. NPR said that home sales are actually on the up-swing because of this. Hopefully it will last. I would like to put my home back on the market by July/August and seek a $95,000 initial price tag. Or it may be wiser to rent it to university students and just hold on to it for a few years and hope it appreciates.

Who knows. As a last ditch effort, M. can move in with me in August if the property is still unsold/unrented, and we can split the costs.

I hope buying this doesn't shackle me to my job teaching, because I am on the hunt for a new job that doesn't involve a commute or teenage children. If I could be guaranteed I'd make $8,000-$12,000 on this house I wouldn't need to renew my contract, but of course, in life there are no guarantees. But, there's also no reward without risk! And hopefully the house will be cute enough to be reward unto itself.

Sore Like a Day Laborer

I haven't been getting home until 8/8:30 at night since work on the house officially commenced. Each evening I have returned with bits of insulation and ancient, compacted dust in my hair, nostrils, and under my fingernails. My feet and back ache from shovelling, sweeping, and hauling debris. Interestingly, though, I feel amazing and I love having a project to manage and keep in motion. Seeing this house look beautiful again could possibly be one of the most satisfactory things I've ever experienced...if I survive to that point!

So far we have been jerked around by bureaucrats and incompetent service providers (delivering a dumpster to the wrong address, among other things), and found used hypodermic needles in the wreckage that was once the house's blown insulation.

Yes, I own a crack house! I think I need longer work gloves.

It is now 9:35 pm, I am exhausted, and I've got to go back to my day job in the morning! I'm afraid this project may begin to affect my teaching - I'm spending less time planning lessons and have less stamina to stay at the front of the room. (My teaching fatigue set in when the initial planning for this flip began after Christmas break). I can see how flipping can easily be a full time career. If this is a success, I might consider it. As much as I hate to say this out loud or in writing - some of my students are so mean that I dread having to deal with them. We'll see how the end of this year plays out. It may result in my financial ruin - who knows!?

In other better-late-than-never news, Bush is actually doing something to reduce air pollution. Nice move now that he's stepping down and won't be in a position to take bribes from major, polluting corporations!

As I type this, M. is watching King of Kong. Two words: oh, my. They are using The Cure, though, as background music, so rock on.

I'm so tired and scattered I can hardly think. Now the only things I can focus on are trying not have post-consumption remorse of the $5.00 Little Ceaser's pizza I just ate, a shower, and sleep!

The Other Boleyn Girl

With the boyfriend out of town I am finally free to do all of the girly things I've wanted that have been growing into a rather lengthy list.

First thing to tick off: going to a chick flick (period films are automatically girly) with a fellow first year English teacher. The best part of the evening was in the first five minutes, when standing in line to get Sarah a sprite - a brave, pimpled and baby fat full young man behind us began chatting both of us up about what movie we were seeing. We humored his advances and eyed each other as we debated via ESP if we should inquire as to his age (16 - max) and reveal that the "girls" he chose to flirt with were literally old enough to be his teachers at 24 and 27. Oh, and one of us is two months pregnant, and as luck would have it we are teachers. Funny and creepy all at once. Also a reminder why I don't teach in the district where I live - running into students on the weekend is not my idea of relaxing!

The film, The Other Boleyn Girl, almost killed itself within five minutes as the dialogue and opening scene were both terrible and utter cheese. I liked it, though, for the same reason I liked Marie Antoinette. The costumes were sumptuous and I like it when the idea of royal figures is translated for modern audiences as total rockstar - because that is the royalty a modern audience understands. I did not like the dichotomy of Anne and Mary's personalities, though. Mary became 100% victimized, self-sacrificing angel and Anne never really deviated from crazy bitch after returning from her anachronistic trip to France. Although, there was something about the rape scene that added a sense of Anne's humanity in the film and seemed to symbolize Henry VIII's desire to literally devour women (just like he did food when got old, fat, and pus-full). Also to the film's credit, it did a good job of highlighting the exploitation of women as a means to political ends. Even Anne's ambitions were framed by the insatiable desires of her male relatives. While the extent of outside scheming in Anne's rise to power in order to garner wealth for her family may be stretched and fabricated for this movie, the concept of woman as pawn is by no means a unique occurrence in history, sadly. Sad, too, is the ending of the movie. But like Titanic, you walk into the theatre knowing the proverbial boat is going to sink. Unlike Titanic, though, I am much happier watching Jim Sturgiss play out a tragic male lead than Leo. Beautiful boy. Final verdict: good girls-only movie, but next time I'm going for romantic comedy rather than romantic period tragedy. In defense of Anne's decisions though - Elizabeth is an incredible asset to world history, but it's sad her mother's life had to be forfeited in order to set the course for her birth. On a happy note - more Jim!