Toppling Towers

I've been on the hunt for affordable (read: super cheap and super steals) clothes that I can wear to work this year.  I'm not quite sure if these sparkle espadrille wedges were wholly justifiable, but I loved that they are fun with an air of elegance, and that the espadrilles make them daytime appropriate but the shimmer of the fabric can make them work for a casual night.  I found this skirt at SoLa a couple weeks ago when they marked down everything in the store that was from the summer stock.

 
Lennon comes back from being gone on tour for over two months, but only for a quick visit and to dog and apartment sit for me while I go to a conference in Albuquerque next week.  I'm not excited to fly - my dad was a pilot, but somehow I was born terrified of flying, (well, technically of crashing).  After I get back Lennon is moving to Dallas and my program year sets into full gear.  I hope the year is busy and wonderful and fun and if the grant cycle isn't renewed next year, I hope the principal hires me as a teacher on campus for 2011-2012.  I can't believe how much I miss teaching.  I can't believe I'd contemplate having to wake up at 5:30 A.M. every day again.

 
This is the outfit I wore in Arkansas to go out to dinner for my grandmother's birthday, but I also wore these shoes to go out last night to downtown.  I love The Ginger Man pub, because I love beer, and I love being able to make the call that a beer is too hoppy or too citrusy, or some other distinction.  For years I'd aspired to be a wine connoisseur, but I don't think that's in my cards anymore.  I'm certain I'll be a full fledged beer snob in a matter of years.  Luckily, I didn't stumble in these shoes while walking around downtown Austin at 2 A.M.  I actually think that two pints in, the fluidity of my ability to walk in an extra four inches improved, sort of like my Spanish skills.  Tonight was swimming, movie, and dinner with my friend Elizabeth, and the fact that I fell asleep on her couch is probably indicative I should be going to sleep now.

Under Your Spell

It's 7:30pm, my balcony door is open and the star curtains are blowing up and out but the air coming in is hot hot hot and makes the room even hotter.  But I don't really care - I feel trapped with the door closed.  My iPod is on random and this song by the Smashing Pumpkins is playing.  One time I went to Little Rock to visit my grandmother and a boy who played this song in his car over and over and over and over that weekend, so now every time I hear it I think of those few days, the sun when it's golden, and this song on repeat.  I always wanted to think he was playing it for me.

I'm devising my fall program schedule for girls in 6th-10th grade, and it's still amazing to think I get to pick what extra-curricular clubs to offer.  In high school, I was a member of at least fifteen clubs - I'm perpetually interested in everything (but never fully invested in anything).  So far, I'm settled on:

• Girls Rock Camp
• Film Making
• Model United Nations
• Cooking
• Photography
• Sewing
• Roller Derby (Derby Brats)
• Taekwondo
• Theatre
• Yoga
• Science via a Sea World grant program
• Girls Sports League

plus a few mandatory things like leadership development programs, technology, and similar concepts.  I can have five classes a day, and since this is the last year of the grant cycle, I don't have as much money to spend as I did last year, so I've got to pick some lower budget programs.

When you were in school, what was your favorite club or after school activity?

Tired & Uninspired

My summer as a teen program coordinator/counselor are over, and it's time to get ready for the school year.  Since I'll be taking over the program at a new school, I'll have to reorient myself to everything - the teachers, navigating the school, resources, new program offerings, and of course, the students.  I'm really excited to start but have to survive a month of trainings and meetings first, (today is the one year anniversary of my job with the Boys and Girls Club).

I have to admit in terms of writing, photographing, blogging, and even thinking, I've been inexplicably uninspired and discouraged.  Fashion blogging is fun, but I feel so weird having a blog that ends up being nearly 100% dedicated to pictures of me, even if as a model, I'm second to the clothes.  Maybe my internal critic is far too harsh.  No one can argue, though, that clothes can completely dictate how you feel in them.  A blah outfit makes me feel equally blah and want to be invisible.  In wanting to amplify my current emotional state from the doldrums, I'm typing this while wearing camp shorts and Cole Haan 4" heels, (from back when I could afford the occasional pair of Cole Haan).  It's actually working.

I think a lot of my lack luster enthusiasm and thinking capacity stems from a case of PMS (TMI? oh well), and the fact that rather than feeling inspiration from other bloggers, writers, artists, etc, I often get a sinking feeling of not being able to measure up - that's terrible - I know.  Hopefully in a week I'll snap out of it.  Regardless, I wore this dress on a movie date a while back.  It was a $20 splurge from Target and I love it, except one of the straps already popped off and had to be sewn back on.

Dress: from Target
Locket: from my grandma
Shoes: Seychelles from years ago

Also, in my list of world's best music, I accidentally left off what should have been a contender for number one: The Gloria Record.  I played the EP A Lull in Traffic every night while falling asleep for a year after getting it.  They were an Austin band and I would pay them money to get back together, or something of value, as I don't really have money to pay them with.

Goal Oriented

One of my favorite Austin blogs, Hipstercrite, written by Lauren, posted about five and ten year goals as revisited by someone past the ripe age of 25.  This makes me hyperventilate a little.  Here at the house-sitting house, where there is cable, I fall into the trap of watching HGTV.  On these home buying shows, perfectly composed nearly-30's purchase townhouses for half a million dollars and look like they walked out of a Talbots catalog.   I missed the instruction manual on how to be that perfect.  I still dream about the perfect pair of boots to wear to a concert to not get my toes stepped on while still looking feminine.  Not cardigans with rosettes.

At 26, I've had to do a lot of restructuring of my long term goals as I realize some of my initial goals, like, marrying a millionaire so I can be an agoraphobic eccentric novelist, are not going to pan out.  How does a person make goals when they keep changing?  With Lennon telling me all about his explorations of DC these past few days, it's had the effect of reminding me how much I would love, love, love to run the education program at a museum.  Like, say, one of the fifty thousand Smithsonians up in DC, (and I'd love to live there again).  If I could get to that position, and write for some (any!) publication, and have a closet full of pretty shoes, and a garden that actually produces a tomato, I'd like to think I'd feel accomplished in life.

But, if I ever should get engaged again, that could throw a wrench in things - having to accommodate a husband's career and what not.  Sounds like a hassle!  I really do want children, but I certainly see enough of them during the day, and when they start to get cranky I send them home, (like today!  goodness kids get cranky when you ask them to clean things as a service project), and then I can go spend my take home pay on a new dress instead of baby things.  I'm O.K. with this arrangement at present.  That, and coming home to Bella.

Do you have a five or ten year plan?

 

Working Girl

So in two weeks I start my new position at the Ann Richards School for Girls.  The focus of the school is on developing female leaders, and I'll be doing less running around over a giant campus than I did at Reagan.  This all means that I can dress more like my former-teacher-self.  But, most of my three year old teacher items are getting a little threadbare, and some probably don't even fit anymore.  I'm scared to try on my khaki pants.  

My high heels have been in retirement for a long time and I'm eager to break them out again.  I'm also interested in dressing "nicer" at this school, because I'm genuinely worried about what the principal is going to think when she sees my tattoos that were concealed beneath a cardigan at my interview.  It wasn't an issue at Reagan at all, but at ARS, I'm nervous.  I would like to counterbalance any negative associations they might have by looking like I run the Boys and Girls Club there, (wait, I do - and I love it).  

About the Author Dress in Grey
$53 - modcloth.com
More dresses »

CAIRO
195 GBP - kurtgeiger.com
More Kurt Geiger shoes »

elsie satchel
325 GBP - toast.co.uk
More tote bags »

PLASTICLAND - Green Satin Rosette Flapper Headband
$22 - shopplasticland.com
More hair accessories »

These heels are too high to wear functionally for me, but I do like the color.  And I'm in love with this dress, and will probably save my nickels to buy it in the next few weeks.  I've had a pair of black patent Cole Haan pumps for years that are already whispering to me that they want to be worn with that dress.

Beach Picnic Dress in Afternoon
$100 - modcloth.com
More dresses »

I was in Target yesterday and found a dress really similar to this one for $40 as opposed to $100, but they were out of my size, and it wasn't nearly as "neat," it had a bunched elastic waist, and the thing I like about the Modcloth dress is how smooth and pressed it is.  Plus I certainly wouldn't actually be getting Christian Louboutin shoes, but certainly any color would match.

Is it normal to be fantasizing about work-wear in the summer?  Maybe it's because I've been wearing t-shirts and pedal pushers all summer while working with the teens at the community club - I'm essentially a camp counselor.

Any suggestions for shopping for affordable work clothes and shoes?  I still don't want to run around in stilletos, but maybe I can give my flats and tennis shoes a rest.

Starlight Station

For the next two weeks I'm playing momma to a basset hound along with my lab, Bella.  He has the biggest feet I've ever seen, yet somehow he makes less noise than Bella does.

Today I start running the teen program at East Club, and I'm finished with Reagan for good - all except for cleaning out my office.  But I don't have my new one at Ann Richards yet, so for now, everything can stay there because I don't want to bring it home and have it clutter my apartment.  The fun thing about East Club is that it's going to be all field trip based, so I'm taking the kids everywhere from the Urban Roots farm to Barton Springs to Caritas (went there last week with Reagan kids - very awesome) to career day at Old Navy to touring the Austin Film Studios.  Today is introductions day, though, and I hate those.  They make me anxious.  I'm going to post these pictures I like and try not to be anxious.

Dress: I can't remember the brand - but it's from the boutique Indigo in Little Rock.  I love orange.
Cardigan: Gap
Shoes: BCBG Girls
Locket: my grandma's
Bracelet: my great grandma's
Railroad car: Starlight Station in Killeen (it was packed Sunday night when I drove by on my way home to Austin!)

so while I was on here, Lennon dropped my sunglasses (he was being sweet and holding them) and stepped on them.  Then they looked like this:

and I also like to pretend I'm an airplane.  Maybe I'll do that now to relieve my first day jitters.

The spring flowers are all gone now and I miss them terribly.  But I'm watering a garden for the basset hound's mommy and daddy, and I get to eat all of the summer tomatoes and green beans out of it while they're gone - that may be better than flowers!

Anne of Green Gables is Alive and Well

And is hiding out in Little Rock, Arkansas.  I had these taken the last time I was visiting Little Rock.  I'd just found this hat at an antique mall and was too excited to wait till I got back to Austin to wear it.  I think it has spring woven into it.

Skirt: from Target
T-shirt: Forever 21
Hat: from an antique mall in Arkansas
Shoes: Frye's
Necklace: silver dollar pendant found in my grandma's bureau

I want to start singing "I feel pretty..." but then I'd have to stay in my seat and not get up and look at my, seriously, disheveled self after a ten hour work day, with my fingers smelling like tuna fish sandwich and my hair knotted in a pony ring I'll probably have to cut out with scissors.  But, how can a day be good unless you get a little messy and a little gross from running around being busy?

Tomorrow night is the big end-of-year showcase event for the after school program I co-run.  If you're in Austin, come out and support a St. John's community school!  We have some really sweet kids, and some crazy ones.  Today was the Boys and Girls Club spring luncheon - and aside from the vegetarian option being a toasted tomato stuffed with carrots - blech - it went great.  The UT swim coach was the key note speaker, and a line of club kids got to ask him questions afterward.  One of my kids sang a patriotic song and read the invocation.  I was so proud!

I learned that my job is potentially going to be eliminated next year at the school I am in, (oh the joys of non-profit grant funded work), so I'll be applying for the same position at a not-quite-so-bad-off school, (I hear the ladies at this school are some serious students), so please cross your fingers for me that the principal there likes me and I have a job next year!  I'd really, really love to get a position in this school, so I'll be holding my breath till then.

Things I've Learned at Work

This past week has been a, literally, crazy work week where I've learned a few valuable lessons about professionalism.

Without being specific, I got a good reminder to never take anything personally in a work environment, (or ever, really, I mean why let people ruffle your feathers?), don't put anything in writing you don't want to come back to haunt you, (unless it's your diary - I assume no one will read that till you're dead - unless you're me, and I've actually had a boyfriend read my diary with disastrous consequences), and don't say anything out loud you wouldn't want documented in an incident report.  Oh, and incident reports are VERY important.

I have to manage people at work and I'm not particularly a fan of it.  I didn't mind managing a class room, but I'm so adverse to telling someone something that's unpleasant that I sometimes don't do it even when I should.  This does, though, make me a great mediator.  I think I've discovered my next career move: diplomacy, or something where the only person I manage is myself. 

In addition to chronicling work lessons, I'm debating writing about the one or two dates I've been on since becoming single.  I really want to, (I have commentary on everything), but my desire to not say anything that can come back to bite me is conflicting with my desire to describe and dissect everything.  Maybe I should go anonymous??  

Speaking of a crazy busy week - I haven't had much time to sit down with my google reader - and I miss the beautiful blogs that I frequent!  My apartment is almost in working order, (after I realized I left half my kitchen stuff in a cabinet at my old apartment - arg), so once I'm no longer shuffling books and plates and figurines around, I'll be back to reading, awing over everyone, and commenting.

Spelunking at Whirlpool Caves

On Monday, I got to take kids on a field trip at Whirlpool Cave with Green Teens, our environmental program sponsored by Keep Austin Beautiful.  When I first heard "caving," I pictured a large hole in the side of a hill.  

So I was a little surprised when we pulled up and saw this:

Helmets, elbow pads, knee pads, headlamps... my muscles started squeezing at the thought of what these supplies signified. 

Our caving guide explained to the kids the preservation efforts taken to keep the caves safe from the highway that was built over it, and how to put on a helmet properly.

Carlos and I are ready to go.  Although, once in the cave I realized I hadn't followed instructions right, as my helmet kept falling forward over my eyes every time I bumped the ceiling - which was often.

Emily (both Green Teen's leaders are named Emily) helps Anita with her knee pad.  I will forever associate these things with "army crawl" now.

The opening to the cave is a narrow metal door.  We went down in daylight and came out at night.

Kids lined up in one of the rooms of the cave.

The rooms were connected by narrow passages that had to be crawled through, literally, like a salamander, one of them is even called "the birth canal."  In order to take my back pack and camera with me I had to sling it front of me as I crawled.

That's 40,000 year old red clay on my nose.  The rest is just dirt, from eating it, essentially, as I maneuvered around.

The kids got to draw "war paint" on their faces with the damp clay.  Most went for whiskers. 

A set of feet disappear up one of the passageways. 

Both of the Emily's and I with a few of the kids before we crawled out.  We spent an hour or two underground, but had to leave before getting to the large Travis County Room because it was bordering 8 p.m. already.  The kids, who were scared to go down, didn't want to leave!  The adults, who were scared to down, were quite ready to go up.






I took a short video of the kids in the cave.

We took a normal group shot, then everyone turned around to show off their dirty bums.  I'm glad I wore sturdy shorts and a t-shirt!

I'll call this "spelunking" chic.  I went to HEB on my way home to get some food for dinner, and felt like a TOTAL badass walking in all dirty and with my super-boots caked and coated in cave mud.