Toppling Towers

I've been on the hunt for affordable (read: super cheap and super steals) clothes that I can wear to work this year.  I'm not quite sure if these sparkle espadrille wedges were wholly justifiable, but I loved that they are fun with an air of elegance, and that the espadrilles make them daytime appropriate but the shimmer of the fabric can make them work for a casual night.  I found this skirt at SoLa a couple weeks ago when they marked down everything in the store that was from the summer stock.

 
Lennon comes back from being gone on tour for over two months, but only for a quick visit and to dog and apartment sit for me while I go to a conference in Albuquerque next week.  I'm not excited to fly - my dad was a pilot, but somehow I was born terrified of flying, (well, technically of crashing).  After I get back Lennon is moving to Dallas and my program year sets into full gear.  I hope the year is busy and wonderful and fun and if the grant cycle isn't renewed next year, I hope the principal hires me as a teacher on campus for 2011-2012.  I can't believe how much I miss teaching.  I can't believe I'd contemplate having to wake up at 5:30 A.M. every day again.

 
This is the outfit I wore in Arkansas to go out to dinner for my grandmother's birthday, but I also wore these shoes to go out last night to downtown.  I love The Ginger Man pub, because I love beer, and I love being able to make the call that a beer is too hoppy or too citrusy, or some other distinction.  For years I'd aspired to be a wine connoisseur, but I don't think that's in my cards anymore.  I'm certain I'll be a full fledged beer snob in a matter of years.  Luckily, I didn't stumble in these shoes while walking around downtown Austin at 2 A.M.  I actually think that two pints in, the fluidity of my ability to walk in an extra four inches improved, sort of like my Spanish skills.  Tonight was swimming, movie, and dinner with my friend Elizabeth, and the fact that I fell asleep on her couch is probably indicative I should be going to sleep now.

Tired & Uninspired

My summer as a teen program coordinator/counselor are over, and it's time to get ready for the school year.  Since I'll be taking over the program at a new school, I'll have to reorient myself to everything - the teachers, navigating the school, resources, new program offerings, and of course, the students.  I'm really excited to start but have to survive a month of trainings and meetings first, (today is the one year anniversary of my job with the Boys and Girls Club).

I have to admit in terms of writing, photographing, blogging, and even thinking, I've been inexplicably uninspired and discouraged.  Fashion blogging is fun, but I feel so weird having a blog that ends up being nearly 100% dedicated to pictures of me, even if as a model, I'm second to the clothes.  Maybe my internal critic is far too harsh.  No one can argue, though, that clothes can completely dictate how you feel in them.  A blah outfit makes me feel equally blah and want to be invisible.  In wanting to amplify my current emotional state from the doldrums, I'm typing this while wearing camp shorts and Cole Haan 4" heels, (from back when I could afford the occasional pair of Cole Haan).  It's actually working.

I think a lot of my lack luster enthusiasm and thinking capacity stems from a case of PMS (TMI? oh well), and the fact that rather than feeling inspiration from other bloggers, writers, artists, etc, I often get a sinking feeling of not being able to measure up - that's terrible - I know.  Hopefully in a week I'll snap out of it.  Regardless, I wore this dress on a movie date a while back.  It was a $20 splurge from Target and I love it, except one of the straps already popped off and had to be sewn back on.

Dress: from Target
Locket: from my grandma
Shoes: Seychelles from years ago

Also, in my list of world's best music, I accidentally left off what should have been a contender for number one: The Gloria Record.  I played the EP A Lull in Traffic every night while falling asleep for a year after getting it.  They were an Austin band and I would pay them money to get back together, or something of value, as I don't really have money to pay them with.

A Whole Week's Vacation

Starting on 5 p.m. yesterday, my vacation week officially begun.  I'm en route to Little Rock, but stopped in Copperas Cove to visit my dad and step-mom.  They have this beautiful pool, and I'm yet to even swim in it!  This will need to be rectified soon.  With 100 degree temperatures like we had today, I probably have some time to make it happen.  I find myself already stressing about how much I will be able to get "accomplished" over this week, and then I want to thump my head on a wall.  All I want is one week without a to-do list hanging over my head, or the itch to "get ahead" on projects or article writing.  Although I have a friend's wedding coming up, and I'd like to save up to afford the gas to get there - it's quite a drive from Austin, so article writing may be in the mix.

These pictures let know just how much I need to work on using a light meter properly.  That, and checking when the date stamp is on - I had to crop it out of all my pictures - oops.  I've had this skirt in my closet for two months but never cut the tag off till today - what was I thinking!?  This may get worn everyday this week.  I have an eight hour drive ahead of me, so I should probably stop posting pictures of myself (I still feel weird about this - but it's fun to take them) and go to sleep on my air mattress.


Crochet skirt: Forever 21
Peach tee: from SoLa in Austin
Necklace: Little Rock boutique
Ring: Little Rock antique mall
Shoes: BGBG Girls

Poison Japanese Jasmine

Now that taking pictures of myself has become more of an undertaking - what with needing my tripod, two lenses, (one that only half works), my remote, the energy to run back and forth after a long work day, etc - I've noticed that while the original goal was "fashion" photography, I've become more concerned with simply staging a decent picture than with the elements of my outfit.  While my lack of emphasis on unique clothing and accessory choices sort of kills the "fashion" element of it all, I do like that my focus is on learning how to play with light at different times of day, play with the focus, even utilizing the broken zoom on my wide angle lens, and try to pair backgrounds with clothes.  Taking a daily "outfit" photo is too much work, but I like creating an editorial style photograph, and I hope to improve at it, as well as all aspects of picture taking.

In these photos, I truly suffered to create them.  Those are morning glories growing on the fence, with a few springs of Japanese Jasmine interwoven between them in spots.  I learned the hard way that leaning into the Japanese Jasmine vines makes my skin burn horribly, turn red, and prickle with hard bumps all over.  Nothing calamine lotion didn't heal - forty-five minutes later.  I sucked it up and finished shooting - tell me that's not being a trooper!  After the first couple backwards shots I couldn't do anymore because the exposed part of my back had turned bright red, as had the backs of my arms, haha.  If I ever wanted to pretend I was a super hero, the time has finally come - I've found my kryptonite!  And it's a flower.  Sigh.

Dress: Wal-Mart.  I am fascinated, still, by the ability to buy clothes and groceries at the SAME TIME.
Shoes: Classified
Necklace: from Buffalo Exchange in Dallas

Working Girl

So in two weeks I start my new position at the Ann Richards School for Girls.  The focus of the school is on developing female leaders, and I'll be doing less running around over a giant campus than I did at Reagan.  This all means that I can dress more like my former-teacher-self.  But, most of my three year old teacher items are getting a little threadbare, and some probably don't even fit anymore.  I'm scared to try on my khaki pants.  

My high heels have been in retirement for a long time and I'm eager to break them out again.  I'm also interested in dressing "nicer" at this school, because I'm genuinely worried about what the principal is going to think when she sees my tattoos that were concealed beneath a cardigan at my interview.  It wasn't an issue at Reagan at all, but at ARS, I'm nervous.  I would like to counterbalance any negative associations they might have by looking like I run the Boys and Girls Club there, (wait, I do - and I love it).  

About the Author Dress in Grey
$53 - modcloth.com
More dresses »

CAIRO
195 GBP - kurtgeiger.com
More Kurt Geiger shoes »

elsie satchel
325 GBP - toast.co.uk
More tote bags »

PLASTICLAND - Green Satin Rosette Flapper Headband
$22 - shopplasticland.com
More hair accessories »

These heels are too high to wear functionally for me, but I do like the color.  And I'm in love with this dress, and will probably save my nickels to buy it in the next few weeks.  I've had a pair of black patent Cole Haan pumps for years that are already whispering to me that they want to be worn with that dress.

Beach Picnic Dress in Afternoon
$100 - modcloth.com
More dresses »

I was in Target yesterday and found a dress really similar to this one for $40 as opposed to $100, but they were out of my size, and it wasn't nearly as "neat," it had a bunched elastic waist, and the thing I like about the Modcloth dress is how smooth and pressed it is.  Plus I certainly wouldn't actually be getting Christian Louboutin shoes, but certainly any color would match.

Is it normal to be fantasizing about work-wear in the summer?  Maybe it's because I've been wearing t-shirts and pedal pushers all summer while working with the teens at the community club - I'm essentially a camp counselor.

Any suggestions for shopping for affordable work clothes and shoes?  I still don't want to run around in stilletos, but maybe I can give my flats and tennis shoes a rest.

Dollhouses

For two weeks I have a big back yard to play in - that's something I don't get in an apartment.  Tonight I used Swiss chard from the Keep Austin Beautiful gardent at LBJ High School to make bow-tie pasta with chard, garlic, olive oil, and sliced cherry tomatoes from this backyard garden.  Tomorrow I'm going to make string beans that I picked from this vine right before taking these pictures.  I got eaten up by mosquitoes while taking these, but it seems the trick is to not itch them initially and then they go away.  I'm opposed to spraying bug repellent on myself if at all possible.

It appears that this summer I have taken on too many projects and extra work, and without time to do all of it, I end up in a state where I just want to scream and can't do anything.  This is sad, because everything I'm supposed to be doing, I like.  But I agreed to do too much, all on top of needing to writewritewrite articles to recoup all of my moving expenses.  Being a grown-up is hard.  Maybe that's why I like the doll house look of this workshop.  I gave myself a "vacation" tonight to take pictures and cook, but really, not accomplishing anything just makes me more anxious, (well, not accomplishing anything extra - I did go to work all day).  So, tomorrow will be a day of grinding paces (post-work - arg).

Dress: Blue Velvet Vintage in Austin
Pearls: my grandma's
No shoes: the Arkansas in me

Starlight Station

For the next two weeks I'm playing momma to a basset hound along with my lab, Bella.  He has the biggest feet I've ever seen, yet somehow he makes less noise than Bella does.

Today I start running the teen program at East Club, and I'm finished with Reagan for good - all except for cleaning out my office.  But I don't have my new one at Ann Richards yet, so for now, everything can stay there because I don't want to bring it home and have it clutter my apartment.  The fun thing about East Club is that it's going to be all field trip based, so I'm taking the kids everywhere from the Urban Roots farm to Barton Springs to Caritas (went there last week with Reagan kids - very awesome) to career day at Old Navy to touring the Austin Film Studios.  Today is introductions day, though, and I hate those.  They make me anxious.  I'm going to post these pictures I like and try not to be anxious.

Dress: I can't remember the brand - but it's from the boutique Indigo in Little Rock.  I love orange.
Cardigan: Gap
Shoes: BCBG Girls
Locket: my grandma's
Bracelet: my great grandma's
Railroad car: Starlight Station in Killeen (it was packed Sunday night when I drove by on my way home to Austin!)

so while I was on here, Lennon dropped my sunglasses (he was being sweet and holding them) and stepped on them.  Then they looked like this:

and I also like to pretend I'm an airplane.  Maybe I'll do that now to relieve my first day jitters.

The spring flowers are all gone now and I miss them terribly.  But I'm watering a garden for the basset hound's mommy and daddy, and I get to eat all of the summer tomatoes and green beans out of it while they're gone - that may be better than flowers!

The Ever Living Ghost of What Once Was

I work in a high school, but not as a teacher anymore.  Last week after summer program ended for the day and all the custodians had left, I stayed after to take pictures with these blue lockers. 

I've spent most of my weekend cloistered away writing articles to earn money so I can pay for tires, travel to weddings in Missouri and Atlanta, and lots of other things that have nothing to do with purchasing the frivolous items on my wish list: new camera lens, record player, squishy head phones, (so I can write in a coffee shop when I get bored of my house - and ear buds are not made for comfort), and I haven't gone thrifting or traveled in a long time... practical purchases are no fun!  Maybe one day I'll give up non-profit work in exchange for a pay check.  Maybe.

These lockers are frivolous as well - the students aren't supposed to use them, although there are locks on a few and I found a backpack in one.  Most of the students here carry children's backpacks with super heroes on them and never seem to have books or a pencil.  I'm yet to understand this.  I'm also 100% in favor of e-text books, if such as thing has been invented yet.  You'd never accidentally take home your science book instead of your math book again!  (I did this in high school, a lot.  It was my legit excuse for not having my homework).

Dress: Forever 21 clearance ($7!)
Necklace: my grandmother's

I don't believe in ghosts, or at least I tell myself that.  I do believe in metaphorical ghosts.  Several years ago a teenage girl was murdered in this courtyard on a stairwell by her ex-boyfriend, so while schools are typically creepy when you're in them alone, this one has an added chill of being a past murder scene.  Not that I believe a teenage girl would want to stick around school post-mortem for any reason, but there's always something left behind by occurrences in a place, something barely perceptible.  And, no matter how much we move forward, people never fully shake off all our old ghosts, do we?